I Know How Hitler Wrote the Second Amendment

You heard me right. Read on.

Caleb Coy
The Haven

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It goes like this.

James Madison wrote the 2nd Amendment.

Image Source: Free Commons

Both he and Thomas Jefferson were on the board of visitors at UVA when the board voted to ban firearms on the campus of UVA.

“No student shall, within the precincts of the University, introduce, keep or use any spirituous or vinous liquors, keep or use weapons or arms of any kind…”

According to the NRA rhetorical playbook, banning guns makes these men Hitler.

According to the NRA handbook, both Thomas Jefferson and James Madison are Hitler.

Therefore, according to the NRA handbook, Hitler wrote the Second Amendment. Oh and he also wrote much of the U.S. Constitution.

That tracts, right?

I mean, besides the fact that the Nazis were more pro-gun than the Weimar Republic in general (except for Jews).

And besides the fact that, historically, gun control in general—that is, not restricted to a minority group—does not tend to lead to an authoritarian regime.

Or maybe we drop the ad Hitlerium and realize that it’s fully possible for the founders of the Constitution and its amendments to believe in what they believe to be reasonable laws inhibiting the carrying of weapons when and where they just don’t need to be carried.

Ask Alexander Hamilton. I heard he was shot once.

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Caleb Coy
The Haven

Caleb Coy is a humorist and freelance writer from Virginia. Work in McSweeney's, Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, elsewhere. Follow @CalebCoyGuard