How to Write
I made $642,000.00 Last Month. Et Tu, Loser?
Four fatal writing mistake you made before you even got out of bed this morning
You’re a writer. You toil in solitude and anonymity every day. You’re willing to suffer for your art.
Which is only fair because the rest of us suffer even more for your art than you possibly ever could. You see, the sad truth is, as a writer, you suck.
Your solitude is a blessing to us, your anonymity well deserved. Even your mother knows you’re wasting your time submitting articles no one will ever publish and posting stories no one will ever read. Not even her.
Fortunately, there’s no shortage of assholes writing about writing on the internet, each eager to tell you how to become as successful and rich as they are. Best of all, the web is a theoretically infinite space, so there’s always room for one more asshole.
And today I am that asshole.
Why should you take writing advice from me, a virtual stranger with no demonstrable credentials beyond my unsubstantiated and unverifiable claim that I made $642,000.00 as a writer last month? I’ll let you answer that; after all, you’re the one who clicked on my story.
