I Posted on Medium Once a Year for a Year— Here’s What Happened!

They say you get what you give, but I wanted to double-check

Danielle Kraese
Jul 17, 2017 · 3 min read

I spent much of last year thinking about posting on Medium, but I was new to the game and not so sure about the whole thing. I was suspicious. What’s this newfangled technology? I would have asked my grandkids, if I had grandkids, but I don’t because I’m 28 (though I’m crotchety and technology-adversed beyond my years).

On November 30, I finally decided to dip a cynical toe in the water, and I reposted something that was gathering digital dust on my old blog. Once published, I mostly told no one — I don’t like to make a big deal about things. But you’ll never guess what happened!

Note: there is no “K” after the numbers on that vertical axis. Single digits here.

Oh — you did guess. Well, nothing happened. On the day it published, I got three views. One viewer was my mom. The other two were probably lost. But guess what happened the next month!

Okay, you’re right again. As you can see, not a great Viewer-to-Tumbleweed ratio here. You could say that I didn’t have an impressive year on Medium. But I did have some record-shattering achievements that are not reflected in the above sad bar graphs.

I flew to Las Vegas and Boston and Charlotte to visit friends, and I didn’t throw up on any of my flights

This is tremendous for me. Sad to say I ruined my chances for 2017 about three weeks into the year. Apologies to my seatmate on that turbulent JetBlue flight from Florida to NYC. (Even though she was trying to coach me through it, as if she knew better than I did how I should throw up. If anyone is the resident expert on me throwing up at inappropriate times, it’s me).

I went on more first dates than Rachel did on the season premier of The Bachelorette

I can’t go into detail because I still have night terrors about this period in my life. Tinder First Date has officially ousted Showing Up To School Naked as my number one recurring nightmare. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up in a cold sweat screaming “My name is not Babe! MY NAME IS NOT BABE!” I have to go through my closet and make sure every collared shirt is firmly unpopped before I can fall back asleep.

I rolled all my coins

If you’ve never tried this, you should. It’s incredibly therapeutic. Until, of course, it’s time to roll those coins over to the bank and the teller gives you such a toxic glare, you have to go home and eat a whole bag of raw kale to counteract it. (On a related note, what do other people do with their coins? In the market for some fresh ideas).

I had my writing published in a college textbook

This is a real thing that happened. Fortunately, my sister was there to keep me humble, reminding me that “Nobody reads textbooks, though.” She got me there. Now I like to think I’m still the same down-to-earth girl I was pre-college-textbook fame.

I surrounded myself with dogs that did not belong to me

This is sometimes the best kind of dog because when they poop all over the bathroom rug, you can bail. And I do.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay if you post on Medium every day. It’s also okay if you don’t. You shouldn’t judge yourself based on the number of posts under your belt or tumbleweeds in your stats. Judge yourself on the metrics that really matter, like how long its been since you last barfed on a domestic flight.

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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Danielle Kraese

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My best writing is trapped on a Storybook Weaver CD-ROM that will only run with Windows 95. https://daniellekraese.com/

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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