I Realized in 2020 that I Became the No Fun, Reclusive Neighbor
Many people enjoy the company of their neighbors and participating in neighborhood events. They enjoy going to neighborhood cookouts or watching a football game at a friend’s house. They enjoy decorating their houses for Halloween or Christmas. They may enjoy shooting fireworks on the 4th of July or New Year’s Eve. This year it finally sunk in that I couldn’t care less about doing any of those things.
I don’t know how I got here. I’m a fairly outgoing person and I seem to be able to attract people to give me their life stories as soon as I meet them. My wife often comments on my ability to play the part-time role of a psychiatrist in the check out line in the grocery store as people always seem to tell me their problems without me ever engaging with them first. You could say I’ve never met a stranger.
My parents have always been the good neighbors that always want to spend time with their neighbors. They help with yard work, babysit, go fishing, have dinner parties, decorate for every holiday, and can probably tell me every neighbor within 5 houses to the left, right, and across the street from their house. That was normal for me growing up.
Now, that I’m an adult, married with a family of my own, I’ve realized that I’m the guy that opens the garage door to take out the trash and does a scouting report before stepping a foot outside. I check to my left and my right to make sure no neighbor is outside. If it’s clear, “Operation Trash Dump” is a go. If it’s not, I consider closing the door.
During the holiday season, we decided not to participate in Halloween (mostly) thanks to the pandemic. When we looked outside, we noticed that our street was one that clearly heavily invested in decorations, and my first thought was, “Oh shit, what is Christmas going to look like?” Fast forward another month, and Christmas was even worse. When I peered out the garage to check for neighbors one night, I saw American flag lights on 5 houses in a row, which our undecorated house broke up, and then 3 more in a row to the other side. Inflatable Snoopys, Santas, and Reindeer in multiple lawns. Candy cane lights up driveways. Colorful spectacles lighting up the street, and one house even playing Christmas music in the front yard (I love “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as much as the next person, but we don’t need it on repeat). Every house was lit to such extreme that I didn’t have to worry about the end of daylight savings time during the month of December. It was like every neighbor had watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and swore to Clark Griswold they wouldn’t let him down. “Clark, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” And if my neighbors were all Clark Griswold wannabes, then I certainly was playing the part of the Grinch because peering out from that garage, I realized I had become the no fun neighbor.
Here’s the crazy thing — it’s not like I don’t like my neighbors. They actually all seem like very nice people, even the nosy ones. It’s not that I don’t like the holidays. It’s quite the opposite. I love Christmas to an almost unhealthy level (Yes, there have been years where I have started listening to Christmas music in October).
The truth is that I am the no fun neighbor because I am comfortable with myself. I am ok with minding my own business, and that’s what I expect from other people. I am ok with spending time with my family, so I don’t feel the need to spend extra time with others a large chunk of the time. Maybe this year, I just needed some time to rejuvenate during a year that was stressful on many different levels. Whatever the reasons may be, my goal will always be to do what will bring the least amount of stress even if that means that I’ll be that guy — the no fun neighbor. Who knows? Maybe 2021 will make me a little more fun!
