I Would Like to Read a Book With My Eyeballs
I recently read a book with my eardrums. I had listened to the author being interviewed on a Hot Scientist’s podcast. I liked her voice and her ideas, so I downloaded her book on Audible. She narrated the book so it was pretty much like listening to a longer version of the podcast.
Then a few days ago, I listened to another podcast interview with a different Hot Scientist. (Hot scientists are the new Hollywood heartthrobs.) He also had a nice voice and interesting ideas, so I downloaded his book on Audible. He narrated the Introduction to the book but then, from Chapter 1 onwards, it swapped to this robotic male narrator. Ugh, I thought. I could not get on board with this Weird Robot Man pretending to be the Hot Scientist. The Weird Robot Man would say things like, “In my research, I noticed xyz,” but I knew it wasn’t actually the author saying those things, it was this Weird Robot Man narrating his thoughts. It felt off. I couldn’t connect to the content. I started zoning out for large chunks of the book. And so, I gave up.
I love reading books with my eardrums, but sometimes I miss reading books with my eyeballs. I fantasize about being on a beach with a Real Life Book and devouring it in one sitting. I can hear it now: the waves crashing in the distance and the book pages going flick, flick, flick. I would close the last page of my horny…
