I Would Love to Like Your Facebook Page but
Hey Jake, this is the seventeenth time you’ve invited me to like your Facebook page about your nursery. And with that, the camel’s back is broken. I feel really guilty, but at the same time, think that it’s about time you realized plants and flowers are not my thing.
Now, I don’t hate plants. I have nothing against them. But they are… you know, too dull. I would rather treat my deeply cutting existential dread and family issues with memes and dad jokes.
Again, I wish, with all my heart that your business soars and people buy your beautiful plants. But me? I mean, I just don’t get them. They are too colorful for my colorless soul. I also believe that the people who have decided to like your Facebook page, your mother, your sister, and Sheila from accounting are really enjoying the plants.
Also, the birthday gift you gave me 5 days ago was a bouquet with your business card on it. I already have EIGHT OF THEM. So I think you can stop with the advertising. Richard and Lexi also wanted me to tell you about this on their behalf.
A bouquet as a gift for every occasion to everyone is just weird. Listen, all’s I’m saying is, you can be more thoughtful with your gifts and actually buy some of them. Sometimes I wish you had a TV store or a computer store or a car dealership or all of them! That way, I…
