If At First They Don’t Secede
Make them
Not long after our first openly NCAG (Narcissist Criminal Asshole Grifter) president was elected, some of his supporters started making noise about seceding from the United States. My reaction was to think it was just more crazy talk coming from the nation of nonsense.
Then, just the other night, I concluded that the idea has merit.
I was watching a show on Amazon Prime Video called, “The Peripheral.” According to the most recent episode, which takes place in the near future (I think), Texas has apparently seceded from the United States setting off a “war.”
I say apparently because, to be honest, I’m not really sure what is happening in “The Peripheral.”
It does involve people moving from the present to the future and vice versa. Initially, I wasn’t always certain if the action was taking place in the present, which is actually set in the not-too-distant future (I think), or the future.
Now that I’ve watched several episodes, it’s gotten easier to tell.
It turns out that people in the future are much more style conscious. They wear clothing that is chic, even avant-garde. Whereas, people in the present pretty much stick to jeans and casual attire.
Plus, in the future, there are humongous statutes in the city that are as big as skyscrapers and some people are able to make buildings appear or disappear just by rubbing their index finger and thumb together.
That reminded me of what Leonardo DiCaprio experienced in “Inception.” I’ve been looking but so far I have not seen any sign of him in any episode.
Anyway, in the episode I just watched, a small group of U.S. soldiers is defending the border with Texas. Not much is said of this war. It’s only briefly mentioned in passing.
I couldn’t help but wonder if writing that into the story was prescient. Is it a prediction of what may actually be coming? It certainly doesn’t seem so far-fetched to think so.
The MAGA-heads and the Sedition and Insurrectionist Party (formerly members of the Republican Party) certainly seem to hate America and our democracy. They hate it so much that they staged an attack on the United States Capitol, refuse to acknowledge the legitimacy of the presidential election, support lunatics and conspiracy candidates for public office, and spew vitriol when talking about anyone outside of their “tribe.”
It may not be that they hate it here. They just don’t like the way things are going here. They seem to hate anyone who doesn’t look, think, or believe like them.
They may use “freedom” as a rallying cry. But to them, freedom means being able to tell everyone else how to live.
Pretty much antithetical to the “American Way.”
If the United States were invaded and our way of life threatened by a foreign nation, we would do everything in our power to fight back.
The thing is, we have been invaded and our way of life is being threatened. It just so happens that the invaders are our fellow Americans.
So, before we wind up in another civil war, let’s just give all of these people who hate this country so much what they want. Let’s let them create their perfect Gilead.
I know the perfect place.
Let’s give them Texas.
After all Texas politicians are always bitching and moaning about our country and have threatened to secede on numerous occasions. In June 2022, the Texas State Republican Convention adopted a platform urging the Legislature to put a referendum before the people of Texas in November 2023 “to determine whether or not the State of Texas should reassert its status as an independent nation.”
Yes! They’re ready. So let’s let them. Let’s help them. Then, let’s get all of the MAGA-heads and insurrectionists around the country to move there. Texas should have plenty of space.
I recommend creating a government program to facilitate this transition. It should be rather simple and straightforward. Here’s what should happen:
- Provide the Texas legislature with simple step-by-step instructions on how to secede. To ensure these instructions are easy to follow, they should be written on construction paper in crayon.
- Once Texas has seceded, reach out to the MAGA-heads and the Sedition and Insurrectionist Party loyalists around the country. They should be really excited and envious about Texas seceding. Promote moving to Texas with the slogan, “Your Freedom. Finally!”
- Let them know every new resident of Texas will be provided a plot of land and a “gently used” single-wide.
- Give them enough gas money to get to Texas.
- Throw in a bunch of coupons for Texas barbecue.
- Finally, and I believe this will seal the deal, tell them a wall will be constructed to keep any people from the United States from entering Texas (“Say no more, wink, wink, know what I mean?”)
Then, while the wall is being built, as an extra precaution, maybe we can figure out how to rub our index finger and thumb together to make some of those people disappear for good.
