If Fairy Tale Characters Handled Health Insurance Claims
My, what big eyes you have. All the better to see this fine print absolving us of all responsibilities with.
You were unconscious for 3 days? We don’t count your stay at the hospital as a medical expense. As our legal counselor, Ms. Sleeping Beauty will tell you, we define unconsciousness up to a 100 years as “just a really long sleep” in our terms and conditions.
I’m afraid your package doesn’t cover the cost of an experienced surgeon. But we can cover the cost of hiring a woodsman to split you open with an axe.
We offer the best packages in health insurance. With our package, clients look forward to dancing around in glass shoes without caring if they shatter and cut them! Unfortunately, you received your injury at midnight, which is when POOF! All of our benefits disappear.
You bought the insurance package that covers ducklings. Now you’re telling us you’re a swan. This is fraud.
I’m sorry, but the bill for your child’s birth doesn’t add up. Our medical consultant, Ms. Thumbelina, confirms the cost of hiring a gardener for a few minutes should be lower.
Yes, your insurance package covers the cost of nasal cavity ventilation expansion, but only if it’s through telling a few lies to make your nose grow.
(Points to claim) This payout is too big! (Points to phone app) This bank balance is too small! (Points to fine print in contract) This loophole is just right!
