If We Talked About Ordinary People Like We Talk About Celebrities
Check out my cosplay of Dad from when he played the main villain at the divorce hearing; feel like I really nailed his eyes with my genetic makeup!
Trade in my cheque for measly rent money? No way! My employer’s autograph holds soooo much sentimental value for me!
Ugh, don’t you hate how advertising now follows us even when we turn the TV off? Talking about Mom pushing her endorsements for vegetables here.
Crazy Lady across the street is totally my hero! Love how she’s redefining cleanliness with her alternative shower routines in which, instead of water, she bathes in her own sweat.
You won’t believe this but Grandma just made a comeback this holiday season, shaking the fashion industry as a trend-setter yet again with her line of newly-knit, bright red-and-green sweaters!
My uncle’s been such a sellout ever since his daughter was born. You can tell he’s doing his job as a bank teller solely for the money.
We don’t need tickets to the concert. I know a spot on the neighbor’s fence where we can totally headbang to his performance of lullabies when he puts his kids to sleep.
Feature Article: “Mom, Star of Raising Two Toddlers, Pays a Moving, Emotional Tribute to the Sleep She Used to Have in the Distant Past.”
Do you wonder where one-hit wonders are now? Like the kids back in ninth grade who correctly guessed an answer in Algebra class once, and never again?
Jim tells us to disregard authority and rebel, but I dug through his history and found that the hypocrite’s first word was “Mama.” And he even had everything paid for by the elite ruling class of Mom & Dad.
