I’m A Witch, And I’d Like To Dispel Some Unfortunate Myths
I’m a witch
I’m a witch, or, to keep with the preferred terminology, I practice witchcraft. Witchiness does not define me. That said, I’ve been a practicing witch since the Middle Ages, making me, I suppose, a middle-aged witch. I know of what I speak when I say that many of you have unpleasant misconceptions about us. I address them herewith.
Myth 1 — Witches are ugly. I’m really surprised to hear this in our supposedly woke era. Our faces have character. We have strong features. Personally, I wouldn’t trust a woman who doesn’t have a large wart on the tip of her nose. A pointy chin and missing teeth proclaim our refusal to accept traditional ideas of beauty. Admittedly, none of us own mirrors.
Myth 2 — Witches have green skin. No, it just looks that way when we stand under fluorescent light. No one looks good under fluorescent light.
Myth 3 — Witches cackle. Such an ugly way of saying we enjoy a good laugh. While not everyone shares our sense of humor — I crack up seeing our neighbor’s livestock break out in boils after my shadow crosses their path, for example — we’re not the type to titter demurely behind a dainty fan. Deal with it.
Myth 4 — Witches live in castles. Don’t I wish! More like a third-floor walkup with no view. Some of…
