I’m Running For President and It’s Not Funny

I can’t be worse than Kanye

Pam Gaslow
The Haven
Published in
6 min readJan 24, 2024

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Photo: author

I am the perfect candidate for president. I have no political experience, excel at insulting people, and always sport a fake tan. I don’t play golf (Is miniature golf okay?), but I have a dog that bites, and I can read off a teleprompter with 105% accuracy as long as I’m not crying. I also don’t take anything too seriously, which is essential…

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Pam Gaslow
The Haven

Comedian and top writer in humor. Miami based. IG: @pamgaslow, pam@pamgaslow.com. Subscribe to my mailing list: https://upscri.be/fpacdo