I’m Taking My First Post-COVID Trip and Here’s My Packing List:

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

1. My customized face mask with the words “STRAIGHT OUTTA QUARANTINE” written across the front so people know I’ve taken this whole thing seriously.
2. My vaccine passport signed in blue crayon by a doctor that told me “you would be surprised by how many people faint after this” as he stuck a needle in the side of my arm in a CVS parking lot.
3. My sourdough starter named Doughy Parton. She’s temperamental but—against all odds—has survived since last June so I can’t take any chances leaving her unaccompanied.
4. My Peloton. And when the airline says a stationary bike isn’t considered a carry-on, I will politely remind them that cardio and bragging are my antidepressants so they’re essentially denying me access to life-saving medication.
5. The book “White Fragility”. Maybe I will finally read it on the plane but more likely I will watch Love Simon for the fifth time.
6. The white sneakers I got for Christmas 2019. They have yet to be worn and are already out of style.
7. My juicer. It’s a necessary part of my morning routine. Also, I should probably bring celery. I know Publix celery won’t taste as good as Shoprite celery.
8. A list of people to add to my “close friends” story on Instagram. This list excludes all family, friends, present and former loved ones, dog accounts, and anybody else I promised I would visit once “things open up”. Because I am in fact not visiting them despite things having “opened up”.
9. My journal so I can write down all the small things that used to not faze me but now feel weird. This will include: going through TSA, getting pulled aside by TSA, getting groped by TSA, and eating in a restaurant.
10. My Sunny Co Clothing bathing suit which, after four years, has finally arrived and is ready to be used.

And just like that, I’m off to explore the world and test my vaccine against all variants!