I’m The Flying Spaghetti Monster And I Don’t Appreciate Being Compared To God
Because that guy is a dick
For those of you who don’t know who I am (which is supposed to be everyone, I never asked for this fame and was supposed to be invisible and undetectable), I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I am invisible and I live in the sky and fly around and stuff. What I do on my time should be my business.
However, some time ago a 24 year old dude named Bobby Henderson wrote a letter to a Kansas school board protesting the teachings of intelligent design and creationism in public school. Whilst mocking their decision, he somehow intuited my existence (what are the odds?) and shared this discovery with the internet.
Before I knew what was happening, a religion called Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Pastafarianism, was created, and I had tens of thousands of followers. Now, on the face of it, you might think being a deity sounds like a good deal. It is not, and I have several gripes with this series of events.
First. The Quantum Mechanics Problem. Once people started worshipping me, I gained demi-god like powers, partial omniscience, and the ability to hear my followers prayers and thoughts. This is a HUGE pain in the ass. Imagine if you were trying to navigate through the stratosphere in order…
