Imaginary Book Reviews of My New Novel
The super-secret-never-before-published reviews of my novel, Losing Venice
After celebrating being three months old, very grateful that my new novel has amassed a small constellation of four and five star reviews — but with the right telescope, maybe you can even see these in a nearby galaxy…
I LOVE THIS BOOK!
ee cummings
I laughed. I cried. Better than Cats!
T.S. Eliot
If there’s one thing I’m not uncertain about, it’s this book!
Werner Heisenberg
More lovely and more temperate than a summer’s day!
Shakespeare
Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when he first read this book.
Gabriel García Márquez
Like Dorian Gray, reading this book never gets old.
Oscar Wilde
Way better than whale hunting!
Herman Melville
It’s scary how good this book is…
Stephen King
The female love interest in this novel was way over 18 — but I liked it anyway.
Vladimir Nabokov
This is a monster of a good book.
Mary Shelley
Don’t be a goddamn phony. Read this book. It’ll give you about two hemorrhages if you don’t and you’ll always regret it.
J.D. Salinger
No madeleines and only one volume but still and all, a good read. Reminded me of lost of things.
Marcel Proust
I’m quite certain that an alternative universe exists where this book never leaves the top of the New York Times Bestseller List.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Reading this book was magic.
J.K. Rowling
Way better than us!
Nickelback
All in all, this book was even better than a stolen loaf of bread.
Victor Hugo
It is a truth universally acknowledged that one would have great fortune to be in possession of this book.
Jane Austen
Adding this jazzy book to my count of enchanted objects, old sport!
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Perfect with green eggs and ham!
Dr. Seuss
A bell-ringing feast! Made me salivate!
Pavlov’s Dog
More stately and plump than Buck Mulligan. Mkgnao!
James Joyce
By far the best book I’ve ever read.
My mom
Tastes kind of funny, but I ate it up anyway.
My dog
*Author certifies that some of these reviews may not have been verified
Scott Stavrou is the author of Losing Venice, a novel. Real reviews can be found on the link below.
