It’s Easy to Meet Dear Neighbors on Facebook
Jack put on a puffy yellow glove as he stood on the driveway and waved at his new neighbors. They just stared.
The opposite happened when his wife Jenny introduced herself to the new neighborhood with a few clicks of the mouse and a coffee.
She signed onto the Aspen Hills neighborhood site on Facebook, typed “Hi, we’re new to the neighborhood and look forward to meeting you” and added a waving yellow hand emoji. Almost immediately tens of welcoming responses waved back with yellow hands, flooding her post like a flock of pigeons hoping for bread.
Life in this neighborhood, though, is different than life on the neighborhood website. Yes, there are some that lurk in both places.
There’s the neighbor across the street that peeks out and judges everyone from behind partially shut curtains. Nobody knows who it is since they come out only when no one is watching. Likewise some internet neighbors remain in the background reading everyone’s comments and never say anything.
Some people say too much wherever they are. Voting issues are always a fun topic for discussion and education, more so when money is involved. The school district around the Aspen Hills neighborhood was trying to get a bond passed to generate funds for school improvements. The website exploded with comments pro and con for the bond but Mike and Jack were posters of note.
“I’m not voting for the bond. It’ll cost me money, “ Jack posted.
“You’re wrong, have you educated yourself, read the literature about it? It won’t cost us a dime,” Mike replied.
“No you’re wrong. I’m educated and I’ll prove it,” Jack answered. He happened to know where Mike lived, stormed over and rang the doorbell. When Mike answered the door, Jack educated him on what a black eye felt like.
Not everyone in the Aspen Hills neighborhood is fortunate to know where all the people they’ve been posting to actually live. Jack didn’t know where Henry lived. For weeks they had been posting back and forth about family, vacations and sports but they had never met. Even so, they were friends and Jack thought it was time to meet.
He learned what Henry’s address was and walked past for days hoping to see what Henry looked like. Nobody’s Facebook picture is current even when it’s a picture of a person. Persistence paid off. It was time to meet. Jack approached.
“Hi Henry, it’s Jack.”
“Who?
“Jack, you know, from the neighborhood website.”
“No, get off my property.”
“Hey, come on Henry, it’s Jack.” Their first in-person meeting was not going well. What if I smile, Jack thought. Maybe I should give him a big smile just like the grinning emoji we sometimes use in our posts. So Jack did.
“Stop that,” Henry said.
Then Jack just gave him a big eye roll like the emoji and left.
Jenny had a somewhat similar experience. She’s had coffee regularly with the ladies for weeks. At a pre-arranged time those invited sit down at their computers, log in to the neighborhood site, drink coffee together and post the news. Topics range from current events and work to birthdays and births.
When special events and celebrations are mentioned, many include the party popper emoji in their replies. So does Jenny but she also carries party poppers in her purse in case they’re needed. While walking in the neighborhood the other day she saw Elena out. This was the neighbor who had just given birth to twins.
“I’m so happy for you. Twins are amazing” said Jenny.
“Thank you.”
Jenny couldn’t think of anything more to say. Then, almost like her post, she took a party popper from her purse and pulled the string. “Pop.” Confetti and powder went everywhere.
“Why’d you do that?” Elena asked when she recovered from shock.
“I just wanted to celebrate and show how happy I am for you. Just like we all did on the website.”
This incident was posted about fiercely when the neighborhood women gathered next for coffee. Jenny was voted out of the group by a profusion of thumbs down emojis. Now she must search other neighborhood websites for someone to share coffee time with.
So people really do live double lives. One is real, the other on the internet. Usually only one works out well.
