It’s Important To Track Your Calories During A Breakup

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

If you’ve just broken up with someone, it’s likely that you’re losing weight and maybe you’re even enjoying that part of the grueling process of separation. Be careful! The heartbreak diet is a deadly trap. Not only is it dangerous for your health to starve yourself during heartbreak, this is not a plan for the future because as soon as you get laid again you will start eating ice cream again.

Best to use one of these new heartbreak calorie tracker apps, they’re everywhere.

Here’s an example of my day, as logged in the Breakup Calorie Tracker:

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast
An egg. 50 calories
Coffee w/cream. 30 calories
Crow, unplucked, uncooked, eaten raw as I admitted I was wrong and you were right. 150 calories

Lunch
1 big sandwich. 250 calories
Humble pie, served with a side of sheepishness, I admit once again that I was wrong about everything, okay? 150 calories

Snack
1 piece of chocolate. 100 calories
My hat, extra large, because I never thought this day would come. I mean, things have been bad, yes, but I said they would never come to this. 250 calories