I’ve Got The Gift Cards If You’ve Got The Scam
Hey, guys, I’m lonely and gullible!
Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay
I have been marginalized, diminished, and dismissed, and it hurts.
I read that in 2020 over 4.7 million elderly people (47%) were scammed and defrauded! What about me? Don’t I count? Do I look like chopped liver? (Actually, I do kind of look like chopped liver, so strike that).
It’s been years since the IRS called me to say that I owe $5,000,000 and their enforcer is outside my house. My grandkids have never called me to say they’re being detained in Last Chance, Iowa and need me to bail them out. Even the car warranty guy doesn’t call anymore!
And what about the romance scam, where the scammer cultivates a relationship and earns trust and then need funds for some expense and asks you to wire money or send gift cards. Nobody ever tried that on me. Probably just as well because my wife wouldn’t be happy about it.
Well, okay, I still get a few scam calls. Some nice folks want to reduce my payable taxes to zero. And now and then I get a text that reads something like “hot sex !@$&*())_.com” Too terse for me. I like some conversation first.
It didn’t used to be that way. There was a time I’d get a pop-up screen on my computer almost every day with a message like “COMPUTER SCAN — ALERT *** Suspicious activity detected on your computer. Contact a live technician now.” No more. Maybe the live technicians are dead.
And a few years ago, three charming young ladies were deeply concerned about my back pain. If I’d actually had back pain, I would have invited them over. And many years ago my day would be brightened by learning that I’d won the Irish Sweepstakes, or that a Nigerian prince needed me to hide his money.
Well, I did get an Email today: “This Greek nutrient STOPS constipation overnight!” And another one from Massive Manhood: “Are you ready to reclaim your manhood?” So maybe I’m out of Coventry. Of course at my advanced stage of life, I’d probably choose the Greek nutrient over massive manhood.
Ah, for the good old days, before the Internet, when a fat envelope would arrive shouting that I could win millions in the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes! They had TV ads showing peppy Publisher’s Clearing House people ringing a doorbell and presenting flowers and a huge check to the stunned winner (who always seemed to be home — and nicely dressed). We entered every time. And won nothing.
I admit I haven’t been very nice to the scammers. I hang up on them. I don’t click on phishing links or smishing links. I’ve never even clicked on a pop-up ad on my computer or iPhone. So maybe I’ve angered them.
But look, I still fall for the robocall where the guy or gal says “Can you hear me?” I always says yes and they record my voice and hang up. These people probably played Ring And Run as kids.
So don’t ghost me, scammers! I’m ready to believe that government officials and utilities would ask for payment in gift cards! I’m ready to believe that my credit card account is about to be closed. Heck, I’ll believe anything. So scam me — I need to be needed!
