Let’s bring cannibalism out of the closet
A research proposal from Hannibal Lecter, psychiatrist
It’s one of the many mysteries of the mind: that a woman, fresh from childbirth, one of the great joys of her life, should plunge into depression. True, the initial emotions can be overwhelming. As can the demands of childcare. But, for most mothers, it is a brief bout. Only a round or two. As opposed to the title fight of postpartum that goes the distance.
But is it really so strange? Many mammals experience anxiety after giving birth. Stress. Strange smells. Insufficient food. Fear of predators. Any one of which can cause the mother to neglect, injure or even consume her offspring.
So it’s only natural for a new mother to ask herself: Should I eat this? And if so, do I need ketchup? And what about the afterbirth? If people can eat tripe, why not that too? Properly seasoned, it could be delicious.
It’s my belief that postpartum depression stems from women suppressing their natural desire to eat their babies. Deep down, they know they want to and so, feel guilty — which then manifests itself as depression. If only they were able to accept their true feelings and, if they so decide, act upon them, without being shunned by society. Let’s bring cannibalism out of the closet.
Unfortunately, due to my current incarceration, I am unable to continue my research. Perhaps one of my fellow academics would be willing to take up my cause and help secure my release. Preferably one with young, tasty offspring.
Further research is needed.
