Let’s Talk ‘Bout (More) Sex

Fatchecker
The Haven
Published in
4 min readAug 19, 2024
photo of album cover for Tom Jones’ Darlin’
Photo: Mercury. Computer, find me a symbol for sex.

Let’s talk ‘bout more sex bay, bee

Let’s talk ‘bout you, and, me

Let’s tal….

1st Person: Get on with it!

Me: As you wish….

photo of finger that has just been pricked being squeezed to release a drop of blood
Photo: imperial.ac.uk

Prick

photo of a group of office workers high fiving
Photo: aboutleaders.com

Team member

photo of a plate of chicken with gravy carrots, potatoes and brussels sprouts
Photo: marksvegplot.blogspot

Meat and two veg

photo rugby player tackling another rugby player
Photo: passport.world.rugby

Rugby tackle

photo of Luke and Matt Goss
Photo: Getty Images

The twins

photo of a shoe rack
Photo: gardentrading.co.uk

Shoe rack

Photo of watermelons
Image: dragonsdiet.com

Watermelons

photo of hamburger buns
Photo: jeffreyw

Buns

1st Person: We call them cobs round here.

Me: Word.

map highlighting towns called Bristol in the United States
Photo: brisray.com

Bristols in the United States

photo of a Seat car
Photo: seat.com

Seat

1st Person: It’s pronounced, “Sayat.”

Me: Whatever.

photo of classroom chair
Photo: itandirect.co.uk

Me: Happy now?

photo of adjustable wrench
Photo: u-buy.co.uk

Tool

photo of actor Warwick Davis
Photo: Graeme Robertson/Eyevine

Wee man

photo of the tiny fish Harlequin Rasbora
Photo: Mirko_Rosenau/Getty Images

Tiddler

photo of a snake
Photo: Ann & Steve Toon/Getty

Snake

photo of a Cyclops
Photo: Columbia Pictures

1st Person: A Cyclops?

Me: Or, a….

1st Person: Oh I get it.

photo of a cigarette butt
Photo: John R. Platt

Cigarette butt

photo of actor Kathy Staff as character Nora Batty
Photo: Malcolm Howarth

Nora Batty

photo of chipmunk with its cheeks full
Photo: Bruce Shippee

Cheeks

photo of baby barn owls
Photo: robertefuller.com

Hooters

photo of puppies
Photo: petplace.com

Puppies

photo of two grams of crack cocaine
Photo: Argv0

Crack cocaine

photo of a recliner chair
Photo: dfs.co.uk

Recliner

1st Person: Recliner?

Me: Well it rhymes innit.

photo of coconuts
Photo: Alamy/PA

Coconuts

photo of bashed up stock car racing cars
Photo: hardieracepromotions.co.uk

Bangers

photo of the painting Muff Winter 1882, by Francesc Masriera, with a woman holding a the hand warmer close to her chin
Image: Muff Winter 1882, by Francesc Masriera

Muff

photo of a cardboard box
Photo: packhelp.co.uk

Cardboard box

photo of actor Fanny Ardant
Photo: SGP / Bestimage

Fanny Ardant

1st Person: You had fanny last time.

Me: That’s what she said.

1st Person: The thing is, just like the last one….

1st Person: This one has been all about body parts and not about sex. Also, once again, there wasn’t really any talk. It was predominately visual.

photo of singer Liam Gallagher giving two fingers

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Fatchecker
The Haven

Culturally diverse blue collar ageing b-boy and incessant moaner. Midlander. yUK. Pronoun: Amateur hour.