NEO NOSTALGIA

Limp Expectations

When you hire the Bizkit, you get the Bizkit.

I recently watched a documentary about the literal dumpster fire that was Woodstock ’99.

As a man in his forties, I remember it well. It was the summer before my senior year of high school, and even though I didn’t attend, I was swept up in the festivities via MTV.

Woodstock ’99 was an attempt to milk the successes of the original Woodstock and Woodstock ’94.

The event’s founder, Michael Lang, thought that ’99 could be the Woodstock trilogy’s curtain call, leading us hand in hand into the new millennium.

But, in true nineties fashion, he sold out instead.

Sewerstock ‘99

Lang decided to hold the four-day event at Griffiss Air Force Base in Rome, New York, one hundred miles from the original site.

Attendees’ comfort and safety took a back seat to profits as Lang didn’t think having the festival on a giant concrete slab would cause any issues during the upstate New York summer.

High prices, no security, soaring temperatures, overflowing toilets, and a prevailing sentiment of white male rage turned the event into a baby pool of gasoline, just waiting for a dumb redneck to shoot it…