List: Life Lessons To learn From Watching Over 300+ Hours Of Grey’s Anatomy
Yes. TV can do good for the mind and soul
By Roopa Swaminathan
1. The show puts OUR hardships in perspective.
You think your fucking life is hard? Oooh! Covid. Lost my job. Can’t pay rent. I may be on the streets next month. Boo-fucking-hoo. Do you know how many times Meredith Grey has ALMOST died? She almost drowned, survived a plane crash, almost died during childbirth, got her jaw broken by a patient and got Covid. Not to mention her almost best friend George died, the other spare best friend Izzie almost copped it to cancer, her sister died, her husband McDreamy died, his spare, McSteamy, died, her newest lover Mc De Luca died.
And there’s still, at least, one more season left in the show.
Tell us — again — how your life is harder than Meredith Grey? I’m waiting.
2. When you don’t know how lucky you are.
How can anyone watch over 300 hours of unadulterated schmaltz that is Grey’s Anatomy, you ask? Entitled much? Because it’s so f..king hard to sit in one place, not shower for seven days, wear your jailbird pajamas, eat cheesy-crust pizza, M&Ms, drink real fucking Coke (not the fru-fru Diet Coke shit) and binge watch a show where every single man is either a McDreamy, McSteamy, McCrunchy or McDewy?
3. Grey’s can do what a real man cannot — SATISFY YOU
A show that has so overwhelmed your heart, mind, soul and your private parts that when you tell your friend you can’t go out on Saturday night for a real date with a dentist she’s set you up with because you’d rather do McDreamy or McSteamy with your trusted vibrator and you’re greeted with an ominous silence. A few seconds later your friend says, “Can I come over with mine? What else should I bring?
4. The show is led by a feminist icon.
Yes. That’s correct. Meredith Grey is a fucking feminist icon. She’s who all us girls want to be when we grow up. (Oh, shut up. No one needs to know we’re in our 50s and 60s.) Her body has experienced more orgasms than any of us and more trauma than the entire Middle Eastern conflict combined. Her epidermis has more scars than Travis Barker has tattoos on his. And you think your actual life with two jobs, single motherhood, ungrateful teenage kids, alimony-skipping-scumbag ex-husband is tough?
Two words for you. Get. Real.
Like I said…feminist fucking icon.
5. A show that entertains and educates
This is a show that’s done more for the English language that even the Queen of England. Seriously. Grey’s has given more to Oxford dictionary than Donald Trump has done for the Southern Baptist Church and Christianity. Don’t believe me? McDreamy? McSteamy? Vajajay? You’re my person. Dance it out.
Especially the last one. When your life is falling apart because your 22-year-old loser brother refused to take the vaccination because…science blows…and is now in hospital with a ventilator and you think you want to kill him before the virus takes him but he’s your bro and your parents are crying and you don’t know what to do. Fret not. Let Grey’s come to your rescue. And…
Dance. It. Out.
Or.
Knit.
Your choice.
Your brother won’t make it.
But you’ll have a great time dancing to Shake, shake, shake it off and/or have a brand-new scarf.
6. The show is an entertainment gift that keeps on giving. Both ON and OFF screen.
Isaiah Washington used a gay slur on a costar, got fired and decided the best way to make a ‘comeback’ was to openly support pussy-grabbing Donald Trump. The last one heard he’s still waiting for a phone call. Any phone call. Just waiting for the phone to ring. Even from a telemarketer.
Katherine Heigl objected to 19-hour workdays and bad writing and was fired. But not without Maya Angelou ringing in her ears If someone shows you who they are, believe them! as she walked out. Years later, turns out, she got gaslit for being a young Hollywood upstart woman with an opinion, branded ‘difficult’ and got placed on the Hollywood blacklist.
Her phone rings though. From her children’s nannies, B-grade shows shot in Canada or Netflix shows which have no actual budget.
7. When it added to the already overflowing coffers of McDonald’s
Grey’s also made McDonald’s more billions than it needs to or can count. Apart from the prefix Mc doing wonders for alliteration…how can you not binge on McD’s after hearing the McNicknames on the McShow?
McDreamy ate McNuggets and then McPuked in the McSink when McSteamy came with McCafe and let McMeredith gave McDreamy a McBackrub instead and that turned into a McSteamy McMakeout McSession (while the actual McSteamy looked wistfully).
I’ll let McMyself out.
