Literary Magazine or Dominatrix?

You Will Submit

“Are you ready for my guidelines, you filthy, filthy writer of contemporary fiction?” (Image by inna mykytas via Pixabay)

1. Open for submissions.

2. The response to your submission may be terse.

3. You will perform to our stringent guidelines or be rejected.

4. Simultaneous submissions accepted, but each of you will be charged separately.

5. Do not contact us. If interested, we will contact you. We will contact the hell out of you. Worm.

6. Keep your submission as clear as possible, but do not remove the ball gag.

7. Submissions have a firm deadline, though extensions are possible via groveling and boot licking.

8. You must submit in 12-point Arial.

9. You must submit to Mistress Ariel.

10. We do not pay for submissions. You will pay us to submit.

11. Our staff will give your submission its full attention. Can you sense the attention of the staff? Do you not feel the polished walnut staff striking your flank?

Both: 1, 2, 3, 10
Dom: 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11
Lit Mag: 8

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