Local Mom Debates Between Divorce Or New Halloween Costume As Husband Just Doesn’t Cut It As Travis Kelce

Hoping to top the “Squid Game” costume that she and her husband (and every single one of their couple friends) wore for Halloween 2021, local mom Heather McNamara admits that she is currently debating between divorce or pivoting to a new Halloween costume for this upcoming Tuesday as her husband just can’t pull of a decent Travis Kelce.

“I mean it wasn’t that hard for me to transform into Taylor Swift once I got the long blonde wig and finally located my lone tube of bright red lipstick that I haven’t worn since having kids 17 years ago,” states McNamara, 44. “So why is it that my Eugene can’t simply transform from a 5’7 midlevel sales associate at Barnes and Noble into a six foot five 250-pound stud muffin like Kelce?”

For his part, McNamara’s husband was attempting to stave off the sceptre of divorce by hitting the gym twice a week, in addition to his bimonthly pickle-ball regime, but seemed equally dejected by his inability to either gain muscle or grow a Kelce-approved moustache in time for Halloween.