Member-only story
Look Up and Watch Out for Drop Bears in Australia
The carnivorous relative of koalas, but do they really exist?
How is it that I’ve never heard of drop bears? They resemble koalas, live in Australia, and drop from trees to pounce on their prey.
They latch onto necks like vampire teddy bears with their curved talons and sharp teeth for a surprise attack.
Whereas koalas primarily feed on eucalyptus leaves. It’s the predatory meat-eating version of the cuddly-looking marsupial.
Humans aren’t necessarily on the menu, but drop bears have poor eyesight. Which (reportedly) results in the wrong source targeted; mistaken identity doesn’t stop them after an ambush.
Rumors say the Aussie accent and pheromones from their diet keep Australians safe from their hunting behaviors. When they move and communicate beneath the bushy trees, they avoid the drop bears’ pounce.
Tourists must fend for themselves. They’re warned to look up and watch out while venturing through the bushland — the drop bears’ natural habitat.
Their unfamiliar language and body chemicals require foreigners to smear Vegemite behind their ears, in the armpits like a meaty deodorant, and outside of their nostrils as if a tasty decongestant — to prevent the dreaded…