Love Letters to My Haters

Thanks for giving me more material

Photo: Unsplash

I’m a humor writer, but some people don’t think I’m funny. Maybe you’re one of them. Don’t feel bad, my father doesn’t think I’m funny. One day, after watching my stand-up, he said, “You’re not funny. Who thinks you’re funny?”

I thought of someone he didn’t like, looked him in the eye, and said, “Mom.”

Other people besides my dad don’t think I’m funny. I don’t know them, but they leave lovely comments. I think it’s polite to respond.

Hi Anna!

Thank you so much for saying I was unlikable, abrasive, and not funny. Are you a poet?

You also called me a fucking idiot. The funny thing is, you don’t know half of what an idiot I am. I can’t get into that right now, but here’s a copy of my IQ test results and a picture of me in a bikini for you to hate. Stay in touch!

I wrote a piece about learning a new language for all the wrong reasons.

I’m Learning Hebrew And It’s Not Funny

Best comment: “Pathetic.”