Maxim’s Manliest Drink of the Year

Are you tough enough to need medical care?

James Klein
The Haven
Published in
3 min readApr 11, 2022


Shutterstock Images

Our macho mixologists at Maxim Magazine have announced the winners of our fifteenth annual “Manliest Drink of the Year” awards.

We received 137 entries, and while they all made our lips sting and throats burn, only a few were punishing enough to make it to the top.

Here are this year’s cockiest cocktails!

Tenth Place: Gin and Gravel
The moldiest bathtub gin, stirred with bitters and driveway gravel, gives this drink a backroads authenticity that’s hard to match, and a stomach ache you won’t forget. Remember: real men don’t wince as the gravel goes down.

Ninth Place: The Puking Gator
This drink makes you feel like a massive alligator has clamped onto your face, but only after it’s urinated down your throat. For this green-hued drink, the makers hand-selected the most larynx-searing rotgut rye, and combined it with cough syrup, Mountain Dew, and just a hint of drain opener — not enough to injure you, but enough to remind you how tough you are for drinking it.

Eighth Place: Tequila and Ghost Peppers
One of the most popular drinks at “Buddy’s Bust’em Up Bar” in Laredo, Texas. This tongue-torturing Southwestern scorcher will muddle your mind while it terminates your taste buds. Ghost peppers are soaked in lime juice, then blended with the worst tequila you’ve ever tasted, if you could taste anything through the mouth-melting inferno of the ghost peppers.

Seventh Place: Jäger and Glass
Exquisite shards of crystalline glass are mixed with Jägermeister and your own mouth-blood to give this drink a painfully classic simplicity. Served in a partially shattered highball with an iodine-crusted rim.

Sixth Place: Welcome to the Thunderdome
In this death-match of a cocktail, Spiced Rum, Everclear, NyQuil, and Midnight Thunder Gatorade battle it out in your stomach to see which can be the last to remain. Test your strength by drinking four and not vomiting. Betcha can’t!

Fifth Place: Turpentine and Pine Needles
A walk in the woods is evoked in this masterful mixologist’s creation…