Meninism- A small look on men’s life

Its 2020, an era where gender equality is one of the trending matters. Topics such as men’s mental health, toxic masculinity, peer pressure, male suicide, types of crime, judgements to name a few are barely discussed.

A man being victimised seems unbelievable to us due to our society norms and gender stereotypes. Discussing about male rights or issues is usually neglected. This concept is not anti-feminism, it’s about struggles man has to face in their life. Feminism was always about gender equality, not degrading men. It’s time we acknowledge men’s issues and struggles. We stop using toxic phrases ‘Be a man’, ‘Men don’t cry’, ‘Stop being such a girl’ etc.

Toxic Masculinity- Society perspective not biological trait.

Toxic Masculinity refers to the attitude that confines men to certain predetermined gender norms and socially constructed ideas of ‘being men’, from centuries men’s role have be defined.

They always need to act strong, be a provider, save family, be a good driver, can’t cry, need to have a macho hype, earn good, need to be brave, should be good in machinery work, be violent, and more.

Crimes against men-

Do men get raped? Men face domestic violence? Answer to such questions is usually no. Even men get rape, forced sexual intercourse, acid attack, domestic violence, sexual abuse, kidnapping and forced marriage.

In most countries laws are made for female’s protection. No law is for men and it is presumed that men only are culprit. There is a huge hike in false dowry and rape cases lodged against men especially if women want money or divorce. Whether it’s any crime, men are mainly blamed. Is it fair?

Peer pressure among boys-

I believe boys have to face immense peer pressure. Growing up is a difficult phase. There is constant pressure to do certain things such as alcohol, smoking, taking risks, bunking, roasting, be popular among girls, going against laws and parents.

We all know about boys groups and locker room bullying. If you aren’t cool enough you are constantly traumatised, beaten, insulted, isolated and ridiculed. Even girls insult such fellows and fall for popular being.

Teenage is a time that shape our thoughts and future being. It leads to boys follow the ill norms made by society for men and believe in them. They are already shown and experienced the image a ‘men’ should have and if they don’t follow, outcomes too.

I still remember the time when my class friends and fellows have to change their ways and thinking just to settle and fit in. They had to forget their identity and shape into new. Their studies, relations, mentality, attitude and main confidence were affected.

Reason-

When we complain about female inequality, we never see or understand the reason behind it. Main reason why movements like meninism and feminism took birth is due to the upbringing and norms prevailed in our society. From centuries role of men and women is depicted. We as parents, peers, friends, seniors, girls, society lead to inequality. Yes, there is a difference in genders and it is beautiful. We should embrace it.

Judgement-

If a man publicly express about abuse, domestic violence, harassment by female their machismo is questioned and considered “feminine behaviour” in the male-dominated society. His sex and sexlessness is used as insult. ‘Pussy’, ‘winy’, ‘sissy’ become their nicknames. They are asked to be quiet and man up. Their issues seem useless.

Impact-

These stereotypes harm all gender and society. Men committing suicide, mental illness, harassment, homophobia, depression, anxiety, drugs are a few. Only few seek help from physiatrist, other suffers in silence.

This leads to crimes such as acid attacks, rape, domestic violence, sexism and more. They use violence as indicator of power. Instead of fighting against men for such crimes let’s destroy the root cause of it.

Why men are silent?

Normalization- Feminism was about making women realise about their rights and break the stereotypes as it was considered normal to follow our old practises as men and women. Same many men doesn’t even realise this as an issue. Fear of judgement, being unheard, suppression of thoughts, feeling ashamed and partial laws are some other reasons.

Solution-

Whether it’s any gender, age, person, community we need to stand for each other. Start listening, be empathetic and stop judging. We as friends, peers, colleagues should stop further continuing of such toxic norms. This normalizations demands action. Start bracing freedom. Every person has a right to live a life in their own way.

Parents and school play an important role for future generations. If upbringing and values are about equality and freedom of expression, time is not far when gender equality from a movement will become a practise.

A small task-

Think about any movie or a fellow, a man presented dumb or less manly. Just think how he is treated and judged. Apply same on you now, do imagine his mental state. Next time think before you troll someone. He is a human too!!!

A letter to man-

Thank you for being there. Thank you for never complaining. You are awesome; every gender has its own role. I never want to replace you, just want us to grow together. Beauty lies in diversity. You aren’t any less of man if you wear makeup, loves to dress, doesn’t drive, make tik tok, loves to cooks, dance, stitch, paint or do household chores, your wife earns more, your girlfriend pays, you don’t open the door, obey parents, respect any gender, can’t operate machinery, you weigh less or doesn’t have muscles. I like the way you are not someone society wants to be. It’s not your duty to save and support girl as a man but as a human we are asking you. I know your issues are unheard and oppressed. Heartfelt apology. Hope soon they will be addressed to. We are in gender equality together as a team not opponents. If we fight this together than only we can win. Let’s support each other.

Request to wrong feminist-

Yes women suffer more than man. Yes some men consider themselves superior. This doesn’t mean all men are same. Kindly stop saying ‘All men are dogs’. In the name of equality, stop shaming. Some are really supportive and kind. Stop asking or complaining about impractical issues. They aren’t the one who formed these cultural traditions. Feminism is about gender equality, not being superior to men. There are some tasks that men are better at, in some women. It was never a fight to outrun them. It impacts them. Stop promoting wrong feminism and make men anti. If you are a true feminist you need to support all gender and communities equally.