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Menopausal Holiday Wishes

Try Jesus. Try the Maccabees. Try Frosty the Snowman. But don’t try me.

Catherine Durkin Robinson
The Haven
3 min readDec 5, 2024

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photo by author

Chanukah is a good excuse to send cards to all 3 of my favorite people. Congrats on being one of them.

That warm feeling inside my chest isn’t just the holiday spirit. I think someone cooked this shit with red onions and peppers.

God bless us, every one. Except for Uncle Al, the Trump-voting Bears fan.

Turkey gravy is the only thing I can get thick these days. Happy Kwanzaa!

Let’s treasure what is truly important and the reason for this holiday season: Cocktails and Carbohydrates.

Some people find it meaningful to cook delicious meals during this happy time of year. I find it meaningful to visit them.

Home is where the eye-rolls and passive-aggressive comments about your weight are!

Hear them ring, are you listening? It’s either sleigh bells or tinnitus.

You make me love Chanukah even more than an effective argument.

Please talk to your daughter about her R-rated jingling. “Ho Ho Ho” should be a state of mind.

Dear Santa, how much do you already know?

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The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Catherine Durkin Robinson
Catherine Durkin Robinson

Written by Catherine Durkin Robinson

I’m a writer and activist. In my spare time, I investigate missing socks. You can also find me here: https://catherinedurkinrobinson.substack.com/

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