Mexican Troops Amass at Border
EL PASO (AP) — Mexico has continued to amass troops along the US southern border, despite world leaders urging Mexican President Manuel Obrador to de-escalate tensions. US intelligence assessments indicate that nearly 200,000 people are at the border, most of whom just want to cross, but that at least a thousand are heavily armed troops.
“The gringos have lost their minds,” said Obrador, in an interview yesterday. “Left-wing, right-wing, hot wing — what difference does it really make? They’re all idiots. They’ll believe anything you tell them. Have you heard that Q-Anon mierda? Give me a fucking break. Puros locos.”
Obrador has been demanding guarantees from the US that Mexico be off-limits to US college students on spring break. “Those chavos are savages,” said Obrador. “No wonder your country is so fucked up.” President Joe Biden, who has said that the demand is “poppycock” and a thinly-veiled excuse to launch an invasion, has said that the US prefers to resolve the concern through diplomacy and will not make concessions. In an effort to emphasize his resolve, Biden authorized $3 million in emergency funds to Girls Gone Wild.
In an interview with the BBC, French president Emmanuel Macron said that, if Mexico invades the US, France will impose personal sanctions on Obrador which include barring him from receiving the fifth night free…
