Satire

Middle School Student Brings Pencil, Paper to Math Class

“The Miracle in Third Period”

Meridian, MS — In what has been dubbed “The Miracle in Third Period” by teachers and staff, 13-year-old Cecil Jacobs walked into Miss Ewell’s classroom on time with all the necessary materials to complete the day’s lesson on fractions.

“This is the first time he’s complied with the first two Postulates of Optimum Performance.” Miss Ewell said, pointing to a bedazzled poster on the wall behind her desk.