Missed Connection: I Fell In Love During Costco’s Senior Shopping Hours
Could You Be the Answer to My Pandemic Prayers?
It was 7:30 a.m., the social peak of Costco’s Senior Shopping hours, when our eyes met across the crates of Organic Gala Apples. I had lost all hope for the world, and specifically for my dismal dating life, but could you be the answer to my pandemic prayers?
You wore the most elegant, cheetah-print face mask that clashed quite exceptionally with the floral Vera Bradley purse slung across your shoulder. You could have been a Chico’s model, the way your breezy, blue capris showed off the perfect amount of shin.
Compared to you, I looked like a poor man’s Mister Rogers. My soft red cardigan couldn’t hide the quarantine weight and my New Balances have been through their fair share of Silver Sneakers classes. You may remember that my face mask was disposable and primitive, a clear indicator that I could use a skilled seamstress like you in my life.
In that moment, which felt as endless as April but also as fleeting as June, I tried to show you with my eyes what I was feeling deep within my heart. Without moving my mouth, my eyes crinkled in what I hoped you understood to be a gentle, yet flirtatious smile. Your eyes glimmered in response — or were they watering from the produce misting nearby? Oh, if only I could peel back your risqué mask to see the flamingo pink lipsticked smile underneath!
As you looked away to pick through the gallon-sized tubs of blueberries, I became transfixed by the charms that dangled delicately from your wrist. Did the colored stones represent your darling grandchildren? Then my heart jumped for the first time since professional golf returned; I saw no ring on your manicured fingers! Are you “the one” to fill the huge, devastating void left by the heartless elimination of free sample stations?
I stared down at the bananas in front of me, but all I could see were the endless possibilities of a future with you. Picture this: a Zoom wedding by October, a small cottage by December, and countless socially distant picnics along the way.
I am an old-fashioned man, I’d never suggest sleeping over on the first date, but I’ve spent enough time in Bible Study to know that these are the end times. Are you getting goosebumps, too, or have we both been in the produce section too long? I turned to ask, but you had vanished among the fruits piled several feet higher than your petite frame.
If you are this enchanting woman who graced the Sarasota, FL Costco last Tuesday, please give this romantic old geezer a chance and send a note to firstname.lastname@example.org.