Mocking Your Baby is Good for the Soul
Let’s be honest, the demands of a baby are no laughing matter. From the ear piercing screeching to the never ending diaper changes, it’s a lot to take in for new parents- or even those who are on baby number 17. No matter what number of babies you are on, focus on counting how many times the tot has made a fool of you with their ridiculous antics… and use that against them.
Observing your bundle of joy’s behavior will offer up plenty of material to use, and- when used correctly- will help you to not lose yourself. Remember that shocking tantrum the baby threw while in line at the DMV? Did someone say a comedic roast will be served for tonight’s main course? Act out that hissy fit at the dinner table in front of not just the baby, but all your family members. As an encore, you could perform that infamous flying sippy cup fiasco at Red Lobster.
Even though most of your jokes will go over the infant’s head, you shouldn’t let that stop you from mocking them. After all, one of the purposes of comedy is to bring down the authoritative figure in your life which happens to be your babe in arms. They’re asking for it with their tiny bald head, inability to control their bowels, and adorable giggles.
Once you taunt your little darling, you will regain your identity. It’s normal to question your performance when you crawl around like a baby, scribble with markers on the wall, and talk in gibberish. Acting in such a way will not only help you cope with the stresses of being a parent, but make you look like a much better parent than those around you. Don’t let the other parents fool you with their know-it-all advice and ever prepared diaper bags full of snacks for their babies (and whiskey for themselves).
Ignore those professional parenting journals and blogs. We all know they’re written by some conforming baby-whipped progenitor from the east coast, where babies don’t even exist. You know what you have to do: insult that baby proficiently, and do it before they can talk back.
No parent is a good parent when they don’t kid around with their kid. Throwing your chicken soup at the wall, in the presence of your little one, is good for the soul. Take care of yourself, and be the best parent you can be by ridiculing your baby today.
