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Cicada Invasion
Mother Nature Working Overtime To Bug Me
No desire to be an amateur entomologist
The advisory is all over the news! The last segment I heard was on my favorite NPR-affiliated local radio station. They interviewed an entomology professor from the nearby university about the cicada invasion this spring. Two broods of cicadas that hibernate on different cycles will simultaneously awaken in the coming months and hang out in the trees of Central Illinois. “Danger, Will Robinson!”
Six or more legs…definitely triggers an ancient aversion to aliens 👽.
Seriously, woman! Mother Nature, …I cannot! Two legs… probably reasonable. Four legs…possibly savage. Six or more legs…definitely triggers an ancient aversion to aliens 👽. “The truth is out there,” and it’s chirping loudly and incessantly.
Muva N., work with a brotha. Why not, to my joy, be fruitful & multiply beef (to the disdain of PETA), or let it literally rain cats & dogs* (to the disdain of Sarah McLachlan) every few decades? I can deal with the effects of those phenomena. My inline skating skills are adept enough to “dodge, duck, dip, dive, & dodge" around puppies and kitties while on the paved jogging trail. That’s only if Sarah hasn’t already prearranged adoptions since this pet-cipitation was predicted. Most people don’t feel the same about the preponderance of pests that’s predicted.
The aforementioned entomology professor is looking forward to this cicada-clysm. He’s planning to study how much natural predators will thrive from this influx of protein sources. Hopefully, a sociologist isn’t also going to study the self-imposed lockdown of residents stricken with entomophobia (a fear of insects). First a virus, & now an “infestation”. Ugh! I just want a decent summer day to be social outdoors.
My aversion makes me feel like I’m an extra in a 1950s “horror” movie where the actual monsters are simply normal-sized bugs that are superimposed onto a city skyline so that they look huge and imposing. Moviegoers often laughed at the simple special effects because they weren’t convincing. In the same way, people think that I’m “overreacting”. However, I’ve often gotten the impression from empirical evidence that certain insects seem drawn to me when I’m outside while they ignore my companions. In addition, “horror” is my least favorite film genre, so that exacerbates the situation. What’s next? An “Independence Day” reenactment? Mother Nature, I’d like to speak to your manager!
*No actual animals are wished to be hurt in this fantasy precipitation
