My 71-Year-Old Mother Wrote a Kink-Positive Adult Children’s Book For Gay Men

I wish I were kidding.

Joe Bee
The Haven

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The actual cover. No, this is not a joke.

My Mother is an artist.

Growing up, I got used to being around projects: papier mache, sculpture, beadwork, the occasional snake in a pot of boiling water to strip it of its skin and harvest its bones for a necklace—the usual.

None of this seemed odd to me. She is who she is and always manages to make something extraordinary. I love my Mother’s art and hope she one day gets the recognition she deserves.

That is until she decided to embark on her most ambitious project to date, an adult children’s book for gay men called “The Adventures of Piggy Bottom.”

For the uninitiated, a “piggy bottom” is a euphemism for a gay man who loves penetration so much he’ll do anything to get it. A piggy bottom often has a ferocious venereal disease and can’t say no to anyone, whether on a hookup app like Grindr or shopping at Dollar Tree.

Mom started tinkering with the idea for this book ten years ago when my sister, a prominent hedonist, came back from a gay pride event in Chicago and shared with my Mother all she had learned from poppers to pig play.

Piggy Bottoms came up in the conversation, and as if struck by the divine muse herself, Mom…

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