My Baby Sister Asked Me What a French Kiss Was
She was too young to know the truth.
I think it’s some unwritten law of the universe that the oldest child grows up somewhat sheltered, and then each successive child learns things they shouldn’t at a younger and younger age.
However, I had my first kiss at age thirteen. My first French kiss was maybe a few days later. With the same person, I might add.
I didn’t consider myself une experte on the subject, but by the time I was a freshman in high school, I knew enough to get by.
At the time, my baby sister was eleven. Never mind the fact that she’s twenty now. She’s younger than me, so I’ll always think of her as my baby sister. I wanted to shelter her from the big bad world and keep her innocent for as long as I could.
One day, out of the blue, she asked me what a French kiss was.
I panicked. I hadn’t had an answer prepared, but The Little Mermaid had been on my mind recently, so I improvised.
Remember that stereotypically French chef Louis from that movie? The one who nearly cooks up Sebastian? The one who has that obnoxious French laugh?
I told my sister, “A French kiss is when you kiss someone and then go like, AH HON HON HON.’”
Yup. I really said that.
Later on, she told me she didn’t really believe me, but it was funny enough to quench her curiosity for a while. And I still can’t hear the phrase “French kiss” without thinking about that stroke of genius I had, all because I wanted to protect my baby sister.
