Member-only story
My Google Searches On Election Day
A sassy-to-salty timeline.
“Ways to celebrate democracy.”
“On the Pulse of Morning.”
“Covens near me.”
“Which sounds better: crush the patriarchy or dismantle the patriarchy?”
“Fun election day songs.”
“Delicious cocktail recipes for Harris-Walz watch party.”
“How to taunt misogynists on Facebook.”
“Top ten things women won’t have to worry about in a matriarchy.”
“Why are liberals quoting Liz Cheney?”
“Define agita.”
“Russians. Bomb threats. Georgia.”
“Define stress eating.”
“Did Biden drop out? is trending.”
“Socialists who make eye contact and house calls near me.”
“Trusting in my algorithm and subreddit communities. What could go wrong?”
“Whiskey delivery services near me.”
“Corporate Dems wouldn’t fuck this up again. Would they?”
“Define anxiety attack.”
“We Are Not Going Back shirts, coffee mugs, bumper stickers — returns and exchanges.”