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My Sexy Threesome with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie
The Fighting Oligarchy Tour gets sexy
Well, it’s almost day 100 of our national nightmare, Trump 2.0. I woke up and started the day as I start each day — by pleasuring myself with my Satisfier clitoral suction machine. I don’t know what happened. Suddenly I felt kind of dizzy and who did I see floating above me — none other than the beautiful Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Well, to be honest with you, that’s not the first time I’ve thought of her during masturbation — she is super hot and wonderful. But this wasn’t just a thought. It was actually her, in what mystics describe as a “fluid” state. She was sort of see-through.
“What am I doing here?” she complained. “I’m supposed to be meeting Bernie in Nebraska for a Fighting Oligarchy rally.”
“I’m sorry AOC,” I said. “I would never interrupt your important work of standing up to Trump. Nobody else on the left is. I’d love to help out but I’m apathetic and resigned.”
She sort of sighed then and said, “Alright come with me.”
She grabbed my hands and we started floating up right through the ceiling of my apartment building, up into the sky and then into space.
“Don’t be afraid,” she assured me. “Look there.”