New iOS Update Reminds You to Look Up Every Once in a While

Following an overwhelming number of complaints from concerned citizens and customer’s parents, partners, and coworkers, Apple has done the unthinkable and released an iOS update that reminds users to look up every once in a while.

Citing smartphone usage as the leading preventable cause of traffic violations and fractured relationships, Apple’s product team concluded that not only is the iOS update good for customers, but a first-of-its-kind feature that monumentally differentiates the iPhone from competitors.

“Everybody looks down while using their phone, and that causes a lot of problems,” said a representative quoted in the press release. “It’s only natural that an innovative company like Apple would use this truth to help people look up and acclimate to their surroundings when it matters most.”

According to the press release, the update uses Apple’s controversial facial recognition feature to track how long a user’s eyes are locked on the screen. After more than 30 seconds, the update sends a personalized push notification with a reminder to look up. If the iPhone is used in motion, the update sends reminders more frequently.

The update is timely as new research from the National Institute of Health suggests that babies are at risk for being born with their heads tilted 45 degrees.

“We’re confident that this update will help prevent future accidents and emotional disconnect among users,” the press release stated. “We’re in the business of making lives better, not just easier.”