New Texas Bill Would Arm Embryos in Ultimate Stand-Your-Ground Against Abortion
The new Texas state house bill is colloquially known as the “Guns for Buns Law,”
Fresh off passing the highly controversial new anti-abortion legislation, another proposed bill in Texas promises to go even further by arming embryos at 6 weeks of gestation. Not even considered a fetus yet, these embryos will be given firearms so that they may stand their ground against attempted abortions. Bill backers believe that combining the Texas stand-your-ground law, which is already one of the strongest in the country, with the recent radical anti-abortion legislation will simultaneously end abortions in the state while also boosting gun rights. The NRA has already announced support for the bill and has promised to provide all the embryos who receive a weapon with free membership.
The new Texas state house bill is colloquially known as the “Guns for Buns Law,” which provides 6-week-old embryos (“buns-in-the-oven”) with 9mm pistols. Although the hands of an embryo are barely even formed at 6 weeks, the guns provided will be modified with special grips and triggers to account for the presence of webbing between the fingers.
“We want these future Texans to be able to stand their ground even though they may not be born yet,” said one Waco resident, Jesse Hines, an advocate for the bill.
Opponents argue that it is ridiculous to consider giving firearms to embryos, citing a lack of proper gun safety training or a developed brain to understand their embryo rights. Another issue is the financial strain it would create on the state budget.
“Texas tax-payers shouldn’t be paying for this. These embryos can get their own guns if they need them so badly,” says Tim Morgan of Austin. “We shouldn’t be buying guns for embryos, y’all!”
Many doctors worry that the invasive procedure to deliver guns in utero will put undue stress on the health of the mothers and possibly result in a dramatic increase in miscarriages. But this consequence doesn’t seem to be a concern for bill backers.
“We just think it’s better to have an armed embryo who was later miscarried, then to have an innocent life taken through an abortion. Besides, if these doctors can detect a heartbeat by 6 weeks, they surely have the ability to insert a handgun into the womb. Children are precious and God demands that we protect them and more importantly give embryos the ability to protect themselves. Go Cowboys, Woo!”
