Penis Smuggling Attempt Fails.
No doubt, a lot is happening in the world.
The death of Queen Elizabeth II has received much attention, as has the Armenia-Azerbaijan border dispute, and an earthquake in Papa New Guinea. But one story that hasn’t been getting the coverage it deserves….
Don’t let that headline fool you. It wasn’t one or two donkey penises; it wasn’t even a couple of handfuls of donkey penises. (Should that be peni?) It was sixteen sacks of donkey dicks, containing thousands of individual penises.
The attached paperwork falsely claimed the sacks contained cow genitals. But there was no fooling customs officers at Lagos airport. They are experts in different penis types.
En route to Hong Kong for use in traditional Asian medicine (is it medicine if it doesn’t work?) The haul was to be turned into Ejiao. A cure for colds, insomnia, and impotence. If impotence could be cured by eating penis. (I was going to make a joke about gay men and erectile dysfunction here but wasn’t sure if that was mean. I’ve decided that if I couldn’t tell if it wasn’t mean then it probably was, so I didn’t include it. But I have set it up for you, so if you want to put it together, be my guest.)
China is running out of donkeys to make Ejiao out of. So they have been importing donkey skins from developing countries, creating a shortage of work animals. Nigeria has proposed banning the export of donkey products to keep their economy going. So many have been slaughtered and sold overseas that they are almost extinct in Nigeria, according to Muhammad Datti, a Nigerian lawmaker.
I know what you are thinking. Why not breed them in China? Donkeys have a low fertility rate. So they are very inefficient breeders.
An investigation has been launched by Nigerian customs to find out more.
