Nine reasons why Clarence Thomas bailed out Lindsey Graham from testifying against Trump
To rescue his buddy, he FROZE a grand jury court order.
- His wife Ginni asked him to stop the liberal elites from spoiling her trick or treat night as a Proud Boy.
2. Justice Thomas loves jokes about stuffing elephants in refrigerators.
3. He seeks the answer to “is your refrigerator running for office?” by exploring whether his relationship with Sen. Graham is top, bottom, or side-by-side.
4. He wants to help reduce the swelling of Senator Graham’s ego with a bag of frozen peas.
5. He is training other Supreme Court Justices to respond to the command “Stay!”
6. He has approved Graham’s application for a snow job.
7. When it comes to impartial law, he prefers thumbing his nose to picking it.
8. SCOTUS’s legitimacy is safe because Clarence’s logic says that an anagram of “legitimate” is “militate,” which means “to prevent someone from doing something.”
9. He’s practicing for the rollout of the Xi Jinping Total Domination Playbook, starring Ginni Thomas as Q.
Karen L. Sullivan writes humor in between more serious projects. Her work is published in The Belladonna, The Haven, Rainshadow Journal, Stonecoast Review, and several sailing magazines. She is currently completing a novel and will be only sporadically on Medium until it’s done, late this year. Twitter: @karenlsullivan9.
