Non-Infectious and Not At All Depressing Staycation Destinations
Summer is bearing down on us and the odds of fulfilling your vacation plans are about as high as finding an extra roll of 4-ply toilet paper between your couch cushions. However, there are alternative “staycations” that let you enjoy the escapism of an exotic locale without surrendering the comfort of your recliner and zebra-print pajama bottoms.
The Parisian Catacombs
Vacation: These gloomy subterranean halls are a popular destination for thrill-seekers with a macabre bent. While not strictly legal, an entire industry exists for sneaking willing tourists into the forbidden segments. You might call it… an underground industry. It’s unfortunate that only 3 things thrive in the cold, damp environment of the catacombs: the coronavirus, skeletons and the VOD sales of “As Above, So Below”
Staycation: A much cheaper, safer alternative can be found in your own bedroom. Grab a box of glow-sticks and a fanny-pack full of Dasani and peanut butter crackers. Toss some rawhide bones under your bed then crawl in after them. Remain there for the next 12 hours. For dramatic effect record a tearful cellphone video of your dying wishes, to be viewed by those who discover your remains.
