Occupation: Old Person

Larrylambert
The Haven
Published in
3 min readFeb 10, 2022

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Getting old is more time-consuming than I realized.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

Getting old is a learning experience. One thing you learn as you get older is just how time-consuming getting old is. While you may not be working a 40 hour a week job, there are plenty of things that take up your time.

“Let me check to see if I have any doctor’s appointments that day.’

When I used to hear old people say that I thought they were being evasive. Now I understand the reality of what they were saying. If you’re married, and a senior citizen, the chances of you or your spouse having one or more doctor’s appointments in a given week are pretty great.

Plus, some medical treatments are just one and done, but others require days in preparation. Like some type of perverse festival. For example, I have a colonoscopy coming up. It doesn’t figure to be the most wonderful time of the year.

My doctor really did a hard sell on the procedure, saying it was like going to the spa. I’m pretty sure she oversold it.

The Six Days of Colonoscopy.

It seems like the actual procedure itself isn’t so tough, but the prep work is a killer. There’s the change of diet and the cleansing prior to the procedure.

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Larrylambert
The Haven

You probably don't know my name, but have likely seen my work. I've written for numerous syndicated cartoon strips and my gags have appeared in national pubs.