Office Changes Now that GenX is in Charge
TO: All Staff
From: John Bender, CEO
Date: September 28, 2034
Re: Upcoming Changes to HR Structure and Policy Manual
With CEO Bing Jacobsen’s retirement last month, the company “lost” our last representative from the Baby Boomer generation. As part of the transition to a younger management team, we hired a consultant to review our organizational structure. They found that Boomers catered to the Millennials when developing office policies, particularly concerning human resources. This includes designing a complicated employee review process that bans negative feedback; on-site incentives such as an ice cream bar and beer tap; and job titles that over inflate the importance of entry and mid-level positions. As a result, we will be restructuring some departments and re-writing select policies.
The completely revised policy manual will be available next week. Employees will have three days to review and sign it, indicating that you accept the new policies. Here is a preview of some of the changes.
HR Restructure — Since the bloated HR team will no longer prioritize attracting and retaining Millennials (you have kids and or mortgages now, so we have you where we want you), we won’t need most of them anymore. The entire HR team has been given their notice, except for the Salary and Benefits Coordinator. Delores will continue to answer your questions about paychecks and health insurance…
