Oh, the Doodles You’ll Do!
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to do Doodles!
You’re off and away!
You have requests in your inbox
and mountains of schedules to align,
But no worries, never fear!
You can coordinate everything, one Doodle at a time!
You can Doodle for groups, gaggles, or horse herds if you please.
You can Doodle for neighbors, friends, acquaintances — even Steve.
You can Doodle for vacations, rehearsals, dietary restrictions, and more.
You can Doodle for game nights and brunch days and say things like, “I’m free Tuesdays, after four.”
With your head full of dates and your brain brimming with to-dos,
you don’t have to worry — Doodle was made just for you!
So open up those Doodles
and click on those dots.
These Doodles won’t Doodle themselves.
Get going fast — hop, hop!
And what if you don’t find any
dates or times that you fancy?
In that case, leave a comment,
under your actual name, okay, Nancy?
Be honest and clear,
some call it direct.
Don’t waver or backpedal
or dish out excuses — what the heck?
Just say what you want and say what you mean,
that’s how the real planny-plans start picking up steam!
And when plans start to happen
and confirmations come through,
get ready for all your social butterfly dreams
to come madly, deeply, and truly true.
OH!
THE DOODLES YOU’LL DO!
You’ll be on your way to bowling!
You’ll be seeing great flicks!
You’ll join two painting classes
and learn how to sound mix.
You won’t feel remorse or regret for getting things done.
You’ll be more efficient and feel like, “Finally! Life, I have won!”
And right at that moment when you’re on top of your game,
those rocks will all tumble, a mistake you have made.
Someone will learn that you have a unique skill:
you know how to make Doodles, so make Doodles, you will.
Here’s how it happens, that zip-zap transformation,
from Doodle participant to one hundred percent organization.
You will come to a point in a g-chat or group hang
where plans have been brainstormed to the point of disarray.
And within that hot mess of, “Oh, I can’t do xyz,
but the week after that, I’m mostly, kind of free,”
someone will be the voice of reason and say,
“Sounds like a Doodle’s what will get us on our way!”
And suddenly everyone will get quiet it seems,
and the well-meaning friend will double-down on their Doodle scheme.
“Does anyone here Doodle? Anyone with an account?
I’d do it myself, but you see in five minutes, Kevin has scouts.
And then Patty has tap and Stewart has karate,
I guess I could Doodle while Casey goes potty.
But if someone here is already Doodle-making savvy
and could just do the Doodle, I’d be one happy daddy.
“So what do you say, friends, anyone have the know-how
to solve our scheduling qualms in one fell swoop — KAPOW!?
Can someone Doodle-diddle and take this off my plate?
Remember, I have to go — Kevin can’t be late.”
And after a long pause, you’ll finally chime in,
with a sheepish and nonchalant, “Oh, actually, I can,”
and the g-chat or group hang or whatever it was
will wrap in a relief-gratitude-avoiding-responsibility buzz.
“Thank you!” they’ll say. “We’ll keep an eye out! Can’t wait!”
Then you’ll stay on your laptop and g-calendar
because a Doodle you must make.
OH!
The Doodles you’ll do!
You’ll Doodle and Diddle and plickety-please.
You’ll round up responses and write, “Which Airbnb?”
You’ll send a group text and a reminder at noon,
you’ll let everyone know you’ll be sharing an itinerary…soon.
Before you know it, your whole day will be Doodles.
They’ll occupy mostly all of your time!
Because if you’re not filling one out
you’re making one — or twenty-nine!
You’ll put Doodles together and set Doodles free,
you’ll start the waiting game, waiting on respondees.
You’ll get so confused,
Doodles will blur and you’ll forget.
Did we say we’d go halfsies, splitsies,
or was the final plan just Venmo Chet?
Then what starts to happen is Doodles Doodle over,
bumping and colliding and butting heads with each other.
Your friends will text-email-chat with questions, confused.
They’ll make innocent requests, but all you’ll see is ATTITUDE.
Tanner will say, “I can’t do this Doodle until the salami one is final.”
And Meg will chime in, “These community gardening times are similar to those for the recital.”
You’ll look in the mirror and see Doodles on your face.
When you sit down for dinner, there will be Doodles on your plate.
There will be Doodles in the laundry
and Doodles leafing the trees.
Doodles on the sidewalks
and in your groceries.
And suddenly it hits you,
like a bug in the light.
You’ve become the whole trip planner,
whole-trip planning with all your might.
NO!
That’s not for you!
I’m sorry to say it,
it’s sad but it’s true.
Organizing many a Doodle
could happen to you.
And if/when it happens you greet it earnestly,
I’m afraid the crash landing will be harder, more painful, ugly.
So here’s what you do, do your worst job — futz it up!
Be lousy at organizing, responding and keeping up.
Get behind on schedules and flip-flop the dates.
Do your terriblest most terrible job so you can escape!
Add the wrong people, respond “LOL” to every question,
and if that doesn’t do the trick, I have another suggestion.
For every Doodle you do, charge a six-dollar fee,
say you signed up for Premium, your hands are tied, don’t they see?
That’ll get you off the ol’ Doodle hook — 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!
Before you know it, zero Doodles you’ll make!
You’ll be back to just filling them out — finally, a break!
KID, SIT BACK AND RELAX!
You’ll enjoy Doodle as a participant, simple and pure,
responding yes, no, maybe on Fridays — nothing more.
You’ll still get mixed up and turned around and double-booked, of course,
but those moments will be fewer, farther between with Doodle in full force.
So…be your name Sully or Stephanie or Sandra Sisseroll
or Dwayne the Bigger Rock Johnson — remember,
put your real name on the next Doodle poll.
And another thing, friend, to make your Doodle life simple,
keep your Doodle-making skills quiet
unless you too want to be a Doodle-making example.
You’re off to do Doodles!
You’re off and away!
Doodle is also mobile.
So go! You can Doodle on the way!
