Omegle Shutting Down Leaves Predators Nostalgic for the Past

In a devastating blow to the groomer community, the popular chat app Omegle has been shut down after 24 years of operation. The app shut down has garnered a similar reaction as when the app Flappy Bird shut down in 2014, except this time the outrage is coming from pedophiles instead of the kids they are touching. Many users reminisced on their experiences with the website, like watching random men juggle, or seeing a cock for the first time.

To those unaware, Omegle functioned as a sort of combination between an AOL chat room and facetime, connecting users with a random stranger of any age and mental maturity via video feed and chat. What an innovative idea! It was almost like To Catch a Predator except the predator was somehow catching himself.

The app reached peak popularity in the mid 2000s, specifically striking a cord with curious children, fatherless 20-year-old women, and men who were fans of The Cosby Show. We decided to speak with the website’s creator, Leif K-Brooks, and he gave us some insight into why he decided to shut down such a successful website, stating, “Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?”

We also decided to speak with some former Omegle users about their experiences with the website. Amelia Bentley, a now 20-year-old woman, states, “Omegle? Yeah, I learned what foreskin looked like there.” We asked her how she felt about the shut down, and she replied, “Are people seriously only just now finding out that predators were on Omegle? Fucking obviously! Who else was gonna use that app?”

Omegle’s shutdown has sparked inspiration in numerous app developers trying to find a way to replace the app with something innovative and awe-inspiring.

“I think a great app would be one similar to Tinder with the photo swipe feature, but it’s only pictures of your genitals.” Says owner of Tumblr, David Karr. Porn was recently banned from Tumblr, and ever since then Karr has been trying to create an app to supplement people’s needs for dirty content targeted to horny teens, bronies, and creepy adult men living in their parent’s basement.

Meta has even tried to get in on the trend, because monopolies are back and Teddy Roosevelt is rolling in his grave. “We are considering adding a feature within Facebook Dating where grown adult men can sneak pictures of their balls into their profile, because no one uses Facebook Dating anyway.” Remarks Mark Zuckerberg, who is notably the only person who uses Facebook Dating and already has an image of his scaly balls on his profile.