The Haven
Published in

The Haven

Open Letter from the Mailman’s Daughter Trying to Disprove the Fact She’s the “Mailman’s Daughter”

To Whom It May Concern,

Please stop insinuating I’m a bastard by shouting things like “You’re the mailman’s daughter!” and “Your Mom definitely had sex with the mailman!” I can’t technically disprove the fact because my Dad is an actual mailman, but rest assured that my Mom is NO FLOOZIE and THE…




A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Recommended from Medium

Doctors Find Jimmy Hoffa Inside Trump’s Rectum During Routine Medical Exam

Sorry YouTube, My Life is Not Documentary-Worthy Right Now

My Pet Peeve #12: Stop Putting Food on My Plate Without Consent!

Ten of the best house plants to keep

Several indoor leafy plants in pots, in a bright room.

Throwing Lifeline, England Asks U.S. If It Wants To Reconsider

Oh Cow, Poor Cow

I Survived the Unicorn Frappuccino

To be number 1 you have to pass number 2, Move on rocks .#ants-style

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Aubrie Williams

Aubrie Williams

Professional Role Model by day, comedian/writer by night. Huge fan of Dolly Parton and pizza. One half of King Friday Productions with Shannon DeVido.

More from Medium

How I Escaped the Mosquito Vampire- He Lusted After My Blood at Great Risk to Both of Us

An Open Letter to the “Everything” Bagel

International Bachelor Calendar

The Basketball Head Diaries