Open Letter from the Mailman’s Daughter Trying to Disprove the Fact She’s the “Mailman’s Daughter”

To Whom It May Concern,

Please stop insinuating I’m a bastard by shouting things like “You’re the mailman’s daughter!” and “Your Mom definitely had sex with the mailman!” I can’t technically disprove the fact because my Dad is an actual mailman, but rest assured that my Mom is NO FLOOZIE and THE…