“Opioid Crisis Unsolvable!” Says Official Who Refuses to Google “Portugal Heroin”
CINCINNATI, OH— After supervising the delivery of yet another mobile autopsy trailer to the city morgue, city official Mike Smith said he didn’t know how the area would continue to handle so many opioid overdoses.
“What can we do?” he asked, visibly saddened. “So many people losing their lives around us.”
When asked if he had considered enacting policies and programs similar to those created by other countries who have dealt with opioid epidemics, he furrowed his brow.
“As far as I know, no other countries exist, and if they do, they haven’t experienced these problems,” he said.
When told that the country of Portugal, years ago, successfully enacted decriminalization policies and various on-the-ground addiction programs in order to deal with their massive epidemic, he shook his head.
“Yeah, I don’t know them,” he said.
