Photo: Darren Halstead

Outtakes From Trump’s Video Message on January 6, 2021

Phil Witte
The Haven

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“Okay, Mr. President, we’re almost done here. We just need you to do a close and then we’ll beam this message to the millions of your adoring admirers. Let’s pick it up from ‘You’re very special.’”

“Aren’t you going to say ‘Action’?”

“I don’t need to do that. Please just start from where you left off.”

“You said ‘Action’ when we began rolling.”

“Only because you asked me to. I didn’t need to do it then either.”

“That’s not how we did things on The Apprentice.

“The sun’s going down, Mr. President. This is the golden hour. You don’t want to miss the golden hour. Starting with ‘You’re very special.’”

“Action!”

“You’re very special. I know how you feel, but don’t worry, we’ll get ’em next time.”

“Cut.”

“What?”

“The last line — ”

“It’s a perfect last line. You know why? People need hope. They’ve been cheated, like the time I wrote a check to keep a certain person quiet and she didn’t keep quiet.”

“On the other hand, you don’t really need to say ‘we’ll get ’em next time’, do you? I mean, it’s kind of implied, right? They know…

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Phil Witte
The Haven

Writes for Slackjaw, The American Bystander, Funny Times, Points in Case, and a blog for CartoonStock. Cartoons in publications in US & UK. toons.to/philwitte