See, We ARE Woke!
As a condition of a settlement we can’t divulge (we all signed NDAs), please join us for a panel with leaders of each of our five (token) business groups – the disabled, the people who fought in wars (#Patriotism), the people who aren’t white, the ladies, and “confirmed bachelors, bachelorettes, etal.” (See! We DO see you! And we also see that some of these leaders might, fortuitously enough, fit into more than one category, so can count as more than one! Increasing our numbers!) The discussion will give fleeting attention to the power of diversity in the workplace in a totally unironic manner.
The event will be held in the top-floor conference room at our out-of-the-way corporate headquarters, and everybody in the general vicinity whose badge allows them access to this floor is welcome to come. Please RSVP, as seating is limited if you aren’t a big player in the corporate hierarchy. However, if you are important, feel free to just stroll on in and sit in the special reserved section up front (with a small clump of chairs reserved for one or two folks from each of the above-showcased business groups to allow for an optimum photo opportunity). #representation
Plus, for those who have to toil away in drudgery in places outside our corporate locations, a virtual option will be available.(Note: You’ll all be on mute, but for those wishing to contribute a question for the Q&A, our Communications Office has provided a helpful pull-down selection of acceptable questions you are welcome to ask.) Viewing parties will be held in some select corporate locations, but any refreshments you consume will be deducted from your pay. #Communication
We look forward to seeing you! #Hospitality
Reginald von Bogus
Senior Corporate Shill
